"Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel... By which also ye are saved... unless ye have believed in vain. For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures" (1 Corinthians 15:1-4)

“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves…” (2Timothy 3:1-2).

In Paul's second letter to the young pastor Timothy, he gives a list that would describe the character of men in the last days just prior to the return of our Lord Jesus Christ (2Timothy 3). These days would be so tragic that they are called “perilous times” . This word is used only one other place in the Bible where it is translated “exceedingly fierce” where it is used in connection with the demoniacs in the country of the Gergesenes (Matthew 8:28). It is no wonder then that Paul also told Timothy “that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils” (1Timothy 4:1).

What is most tragic is that these characteristics are emerging even in the professing church. As time moves on there appears to be less and less distinction between the church and the world, between the holy and the profane. The Bible tells us we “should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light” (1 Peter 2:9). Because Christ bought us with His own precious blood, we ought to “glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's” (1Corinthians 6:20). But, do our lives show forth His praises? Do we glorify God in our body and spirit? If not, we must ask ourselves, are we truly in the light?

The Lord said “Be ye holy; for I am holy” (1Peter 1:16) but today there are increasingly “them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!” (Isaiah 5:20)

The very first thing that Paul mentioned on his “last days” list is that “men shall be lovers of their own selves” . It is on this little phrase that we will focus our attention in this article. It was placed high on Paul's list perhaps because it is this primary characteristic that leads to all the others on his list.

We are hearing more often that so and so does not love himself enough, or that so and so needs to learn to love themselves. This self-love has been promoted for some time (decades) in the secular field of psychology and has been advanced as the solution to all psychological and sociological problems of the world. What is alarming though is that this cultish scheme is becoming ever more popularized by the evangelical church in their counseling methods.

If the Bible is the all-sufficient instruction manual pertaining to life and godliness, why is the church adopting such a method when the Scriptures warn us that loving self is one of those components that lead to perilous times? Well, the Apostle Peter warns us that “there shall be false teachers … And many shall follow their pernicious ways” (2Peter 2:1-2). We believe the error of this way can be pointed, at least in the day that we live, primarily to one man. Some might say he has done much good for the cause of morality and family matters but we must say like Paul regarding Peter when he was leading the church astray, “I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed” (Galatians 2:11). This man is Psychologist James Dobson of the New Evangelical ministry Focus on the Family. As we have said, some will argue he has done much good, even as Peter had done much good, but when the church is being led astray with false teaching and the philosophy of the world there must be accountability.

In Dobson's teachings he strongly promotes the so-called need for self-esteem, self-worth, self-love, and self-confidence. But this is nowhere to be found in the Bible. To the contrary we will find just the opposite, that we are to “esteem other better than themselves” (Philippians 2:3) and “not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think” (Romans 12:3). We need to take the attitude of the centurion who said, “Lord, I am not worthy” (Matthew 8:8) recognizing the fact that it is “the LORD, who is worthy” (2 Samuel 22:4).

We already love ourselves, perhaps too much, so we are told, “love thy neighbour as thyself” (Leviticus 19:18). If we would love our neighbor as we love our self, the world would certainly be a better place. As for self-confidence, “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man” (Psalms 118:8). The apostle Paul would say we “have no confidence in the flesh” (Philippians 3:3). How strongly then does the Bible speak contrary to the teachings of this man.

We wish not to “attack” the person of James Dobson, but rather, the psychological false teachings he promotes that has the potential to make a shipwreck of one's faith, which the Bible says will be the leading cause of perilous times to come. Psychology is a modern-day humanistic philosophy that relies on secular wisdom and was first promoted by unbelievers whom Dobson cites authoritatively such as Sigmund Freud, B.F. Skinner, E.L. Thorndike, William Glasser, and Stanley Coopersmith. Dobson is introduced on his radio program as a Christian and Psychologist, but we must say that the term “Christian Psychologist” is an oxymoron akin to “Pagan Christian”.

At this point we would like to examine some of Dobson's teachings and compare them with the sound teachings of the Bible that we may be able to “Hold fast the form of sound words” (2 Timothy 1:13) and “that which is good” (1 Thessalonians 5:21). “But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness” (2 Timothy 2:16).

In Dobson's book “What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew about Woman” he says,

“Feelings of self-worth and acceptance, which provide the cornerstone of a healthy personality, can be obtained from only one source ... Self-esteem is only generated by what we see reflected about ourselves in the eyes of other people. It is only when others respect us that we respect ourselves. It is only when others love us that we love ourselves. It is only when others find us pleasant and desirable and worthy that we come to terms with our own egos.”

Conversely to this self-esteem philosophy, if we are true followers of Christ, Jesus said, “ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake” (Luke 21:17). Would following Christ then not be detrimentally damaging to our self-esteem? If I bring up the name of Jesus Christ before a group of unbelievers, are they apt to accept me? How many times did the apostle Paul escape by the skin of his teeth from the hand of the wicked when preaching the only name whereby men must be saved? Jesus said, “If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you” (John 15:19-20).

If you want to be esteemed, respected, loved and found pleasant and desirable and worthy in the eyes of other people you cannot be a follower of Christ. This self-esteem Christ condemned saying “they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God” (John 12:43). In fact, Jesus said, “Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you!” (Luke 6:26) To the contrary, Jesus said, “Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake” (Luke 6:22).

Dobson says, “The matter of personal worth is not only the concern of those who lack it. In a real sense, the health of an entire society depends on the ease with which its individual members can gain personal acceptance”.

Rather than seeking personal acceptance in society, Jesus says, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself , and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it” (Matthew 16:24-25). Real life and acceptance with God is found only in dying to self and living for Christ (Philippians 1:21, Galatians 2:20).

Rather than denying self, Dobson, as it appears from the teachings in his books is absolutely engrossed in esteeming self. In his book “Hide or Seek: How to Build Self-Esteem in Your Child” he contends that “low self-esteem is a threat to the entire human family, affecting children, adolescents, the elderly, all socioeconomic levels of society, and each race and ethnic culture.”

“It has been my purpose to formulate a well-defined philosophy--an approach to child-rearing--which will contribute to self-esteem from infancy onward.”

“Self-esteem is the most fragile attribute in human nature; it can be damaged by a very minor incident and its reconstruction is often difficult to engineer.”

“Every age poses its own unique threats to self-esteem ... little children typically suffer a severe loss of status during the tender years of childhood. Likewise, most adults are still attempting to cope with the inferiority experienced in earlier times.”

“Thus, whenever the keys to self-esteem are seemingly out of reach for a large percentage of the people, as in twentieth-century America, then wide spread 'mental illness,' neuroticism, hatred, alcoholism, drug abuse, violence, and social disorder will certainly occur ... Personal worth is not something human beings are free to take or leave. We must have it, and when it is unattainable, everybody suffers.”

“Lack of self-esteem produces more symptoms of psychiatric disorders than any other factor yet identified.”

“If I could write a prescription for the women of the world, it would provide each one of them with a healthy dose of self-esteem and personal worth (taken three times a day until the symptoms disappear.) I have no doubt that this is their greatest need.”

Esteeming self is what Dobson sees as the greatest need, but this is just a modern psychological ploy that attempts to solve the many personal and social problems that mankind faces. The Scriptures however, teach us otherwise. “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves ” (Philippians 2:3). We are urged to have other-esteem, not self-esteem. Our real problem is self-centeredness and too much self-esteem. Paul urges us to be lowly-minded, not high-minded, seeking the good of others, and not to be concerned with ourselves.

This self-centeredness that seeks to exalt self is characteristic of Satan and his “man of sin … the son of perdition; Who opposeth and exalteth himself above all” (2Thessalonians 2:3-4). Jesus said, “whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted” (Matthew 23:12). The ways of the world are not the way of the Lord.

Dobson has before been asked many times to deal with these issues by other Christians. He has been asked to debate the issue; he has been written many letters demanding answers, and many letters have been written to him rebuking his false teachings. Sadly, he will not face the issues and ignores the concerns that others have. Perhaps dealing with these issues and admitting the error of his way would be too hard on Dr. Dobson's self-esteem. So we must say, beware of Dobson's false gospel of self-esteem!

Another modern pseudo-psychological cliché is that the troubles in modern life are due to lack of self-love in criminals and anti-social misfits. However, the Scriptural fact is that no one hates himself, rather, everyone loves themselves too much. “For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church” (Ephesians 5:29).

Jesus said, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself” (Luke10: 27). This some have called the “golden rule”. If we would love our neighbor as much as we love ourselves the world would be a better place. We would not bear false witness against our neighbor, we would not covet his goods, and we would not steal from nor lie to him. We would honour our parents and not commit adultery with our neighbors spouse.

But, the fact of the matter is that we spend more time pampering our self than others. Many spend hours in front of a mirror trying to beautify their externals. This alone testifies against the foolish thought that man does not love himself enough. People comb their hair, brush their teeth, they wash, they go to the doctor when sick, they feed and clothe themselves; they are constantly seeking to entertain themselves and advance their social status.

In this modern age, I think it would be safe to say that man seems to be somewhat obsessed with himself and his external appearance. The Lord testified to Samuel, “man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). The outward appearance appeals to the flesh and is carnal, but to the contrary, the Lord says “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price” (1Peter 3:3-4).

A meek and quiet spirit, that is what is precious in the eyes of the Lord. The Lord says “to this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my word” (Isaiah 66:2). Jesus said “Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:3). C.H. Spurgeon described the poor in spirit (of the beatitudes) as having “an absence of self-esteem”.

In the Messianic Psalm Jesus says “But I am a worm, and no man; a reproach of men, and despised of the people” (Psalm 22:6). How contrary to this self-esteem philosophy. Jesus said, “learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart” (Matthew 11:29). In Proverbs we are told “before honour is humility” (Proverbs 15:33) and so it is with Christ who first descended before he ascended up far above all heavens. “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time” (1 Peter 5:6).

Jim Owen gives us a glimpse of a Biblical experience of self and God:

“There are moments in every true believers life, I believe, when they are so overwhelmed by a sense of their own sinfulness and vileness before the fearful and unfathomable holiness of God, so stunned by it, that it puts them on their hands and knees in unutterable shame and repentance…. But it doesn't stop there. For then there follows such an overwhelming realization of the depth and breadth and height of God's mercy and grace given to us in Christ Jesus, that they just stay there, on the floor, adoring and praising and thanking Him in all humility and unfeigned gratitude.”

There is the classic example of the Pharisee and the publican. The Pharisee spent his time exalting himself before God but the publican “would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner” (Luke 18:13). Jesus said, “I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted” (v. 14).

It is our great concern that the high esteem of self keeps many from repenting and acknowledging their sin. To confess that you are wrong, and desperately wicked in the eyes of the Lord, that you are unrighteous, that you don't understand nor seek God, that you are willingly ignorant, and have been turning away from Him all your life to the place that you are entirely unprofitable, and no good; that your throat, and your mouth and tongue are like an open sepulcher, full of poison, and deceit, full of cursing and bitterness; that your heart is vile and full of evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murderous intentions and blasphemies (Read Romans 3:10-18, Isaiah 59:1-15, Mt. 15:18-20), to confess this, that you are a hell bound child of disobedience, that you are darkness, and a child of the devil (1 John 3:10) is certainly a great blow to one's self esteem. Self-esteem says you must not stoop to such a low view of yourself, that you are in effect good; it says you are worthy, and you just need to have self confidence and to love yourself that you may come to this realization.

Such an attitude is utter foolishness and deathly. We need to repent and acknowledge that there is nothing attractive in us toward God at all. “Ah sinful nation, a people laden with iniquity, a seed of evildoers, children that are corrupters: they have forsaken the LORD, they have provoked the Holy One of Israel unto anger, they are gone away backward …the whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint. From the sole of the foot even unto the head there is no soundness in it; but wounds, and bruises, and putrifying sores: they have not been closed, neither bound up, neither mollified with ointment” (Isaiah 1:4-6).

We must come to the place where King David said, “So foolish was I, and ignorant: I was as a beast before thee” (Psalm 73:22). Many end up missing the calling of God because of their self-righteousness. “They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance” (Luke 5:31-32).

What is most amazing, despite our unattractiveness to God, is that He loves you so much that He sent His only begotten Son into the world to die for you that you might be saved from your sin and everlasting fire and punishment and destruction.

If we would glory in anyone, let us “glory in the Lord” (1Corinthians 1:31); let us highly esteem Christ, for He is altogether lovely and beloved in the Fathers eyes. In Christ was God well pleased, and we ought to love Him with all our heart, soul, and might.

But, the tragic prophecy of Isaiah reveals that “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not . Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted ” (Isaiah 53:3-4).

How can anyone have a high esteem of self when it was OUR sins that nailed Christ to the cross? Christ died for you (and me), He “bare our sins in his own body on the tree” (1Peter 2:24). It was there that God “made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him” (2 Corinthians 5:21).

This day might we esteem the Lord Jesus Christ, the only one who is worthy of all glory and honor and praise. May we “love him, because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19). “Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins” (1 John 4:10). Humble yourself before Him, bow down before Him and He will lift you up in due time.

GNC